Bird drama

So I was heading to my car to go pick up some groceries. I get to my car, start it up and then I am startled to see this half- finished looking little robin sitting on my windshield whiper. My first thought is "Holy shit, it's a bird!?!?!", and then the second is to cower and hope it goes away. Well that plan of sitting in the car at staring at it got me no where, so I tried knocking on the windshield polity (and then not so politely). That didn't work either, it just kept on staring at me with pathetic little bird eyes, all the while looking like it might be crippled. I figured this was getting no where, so I did the most girly thing possible, I called my boyfriend for help. I was in a bind here! The thing kept on looking at me, and frankly it looked more pathetic by the minute. John's response was what was he supposed to about some bird, and said I should try to turn on the windshield wiper. I couldn't do that though, I had a horrifying vision that it would just cling on the whiper and just get bonked on the side of the car or its wing would get caught underneath or some other such catastrophe.

So I grabbed my ice scraper and slowly inched around the car and poked it. The damn thing didn't move, just kept on staring at me with it's eyes. So I poked it again, and maneuvered every which way with the scraper to see if I could get the thing to hop onto the long end of the scraper. No such luck, the thing was dumber then a box of rocks, scared out of it's mind, or both. So I did an even more girly thing, got frustrated, started crying, and called John again. This time I got him to agree to come drive over and help me.

You have to understand, that this thing looked like it's leg might be broken, so I wasn't really trying to hard to get it off in case I hurt it further. Waited about 20 hours for John to show up (approx 5 minutes in real time). At first John tried shaking the windshield whiper to see if that might get him off, all it did was make the bird cling tighter and flap his wings a bit. Now I am a little bit pissed at the little pissant, he had me thinking he had a broken wing/foot but nope he had just decided this was a good enough place as any to sit and wasn't going anywhere. It took about another minute or two of John more violently shaking the windshield whiper and me holding out the scrapper for the bird to move to before the little thing final deemed he had had enough of a work out for the day. I quickly lowered him into the grass by a tree I think he might have fallen out of. What does the thing do? Fly into the middle of the damn street, but then got his stubby little wings going again and made it all the across.

Maybe this was a lesson from Darwin, or nature, that bird that dumb might need to be weeded out, but the thought of me actually harming it is not something that I could have done. Well at least we probably amused the hell out of whoever was watching us.

Sorry for the EPIC bird post, it just was very surreal and had to share.